One Name, Two Dilemmas

Cite: http://www.my-hebrew-name.com/sady-sarah-19329.html

I have a very common name, Sarah. It originates from the Bible and means "princess" in Hebrew. I have always thought, "Why do I have such a common name? Why can't it be different? Does this name suit me?" Princess does not even nearly describe my personality at school. I could never be a princess because of my attitude or my treatment. At school, I am this "unknown" or "everyday school girl" who tries her hardest at school. I like being treated the same as everyone else and treat everyone the same. So I have a commonplace name and an erroneous meaning attached to it. Great! Therefore, I have always thought that Sarah has never defined me. I think of myself as an unique and individual personality. On the other hand, Sarah makes me feel homogenized with the other Sarahs. In fact, the other Sarahs and I are often compared of being similar or being grouped together. I do like my name, but I feel that my name does not accurately represent me in the public. 

Sarah written in Hindi
Cite:  Google Translator 

At home, however, I feel the complete opposite. The connotation of my name changes with the place. My name has a special meaning for my dad. I was not named by my parents, but actually by my eldest uncle. My uncle never had a daughter, so he named me Sarah. Both of my parents liked it and kept it as my official name. Obviously I am Indian, so my name is not pronounced the same way in Hindi as it would be in English. It is actually pronounced Sārah. This means that the "a" is elongated when spoken correctly. In English people call me Sera; they shorten the "a" and turn into an "e". This minute difference in pronunciation changes the overall feeling I receive. I feel special because only a few people can pronounce my name correctly. A few friends call me Sārah instead of the usual Sera. I like it. The overall aura is unique and significant for me in my name. No one is named Sārah, only I am. Therefore, I am the not the same as the other Sarahs. 

I feel like I play two roles in my life. The "me" in a family stuggles to keep her family values and her Indian culture intact. The role I play in my family is different than what I play as an individual in my society. I try to apply my culture to my everyday life in the house by cooking Indian food or learning and teaching Hindi to my sister. Then I play this completely new role at school where I blend in with my peers by thinking like them or by doing activities my peers do. I try to think the way a seventeen year old American student does at school by limiting my cultural views and bias. At home then I transform into this daughter who helps her mom cook and clean and helps her sister do her homework. I have these two "me" which complete my and help me function in my dual lifestyle. They are part of me, and I could not survive without one of "me". However, these roles often cause turmoil deep within because I am forever confused as to how to equally balance both roles. I have one name, but two dilemmas.